Turned upside down

Morgan Smith modeling for first year Design and Composition project  2013
 - Photo by Paige Bertholds

Hello my name is Paige Bertholds and I am a second year student at Lambton College in the Digital Photography program. I want to express how this course made me personally strives to achieve the goals I needed to, to succeed. After I started school in September 2013, I would go home on the weekends and have my sister model for my school projects. My stepbrother would also get involved by suggesting different locations and ideas. The three of us were always there for each other. On October 31^st, my world was turned upside down when my stepbrother was found unresponsive and later passed away in hospital on November 2^nd, 2013.

My relationship with Kyle was a unique one. I had three stepbrothers but Kyle was only one year older then me so we both shared some experiences together. I supported his baseball career and he would attend my dance recitals. He seemed to be more than a brother to me; he was someone I consider to be my best friend. WE would argue like any other siblings but we would also hang out together watching TV, talking, and giving each other advice on our situations. He was also very supportive with any of my decisions. When Kyle passed, everything in my life seemed uncertain. The stability I had known seemed to be non-existent.

Mental Health Awarerness photo featuring Morgan Smith spring 2014 -
Photo by Paige Bertholds

I was an emotional mess. I felt like I was completely lost. I had to push myself to go back to school knowing I had to finish the program. School was something that I had started and that I needed to finish. Once I had returned to school, I felt awkward being there. After I returned, our class was given an assignment to create a image for a poster within the college for Mental Health Awareness. The assignment is what I believe helped me express my emotions that was feeling with the loss of Kyle. He meant so much to my sister and me, so I had my sister pose for the picture. I asked her to reveal how she felt when she heard the news of Kyle passing. I also got to express my emotions I was feeling through this photography assignment. My picture was chosen for the poster, and I took this as a sign from Kyle to purse my photography. My photographs ever since have been detailed enough to include emotion. My goal is for the viewer to be able to not just see the photograph, but also feel something as well.

Macro assignment "Motor" being my step brother's nickname.
 photo from the Digital Photography Tec II first year in Studio at
Lambton College, Sarnia, Ontario spring 2013 Photo by Paige Bertholds

With this experience in my life while taking the photography program, I have realized that photography is more about capturing a moment in time, that it is just a picture. It allows you to be able to express your emotions without saying anything. I would like to thank my teachers and fellow classmates for helping me learn to express myself in this creative atmosphere. Photography is a great artistic outlet. I would recommend this program to anyone looking to find a way to express themselves while working closely in a team environment.